Healing takes place in the midst of intention and community.
Intention in that you purposefully withdraw your own desires and needs for a conversation and allow a person to open up and share their feelings and fears. We should recognize this tendency to be "selfish" in our conversations with others. Rather than truly listening, we are jumping ahead to what we want to share.
Those in pain are the ones who need to share and we should be intentional with "dying to self" or "withdrawing our own needs" from a conversation.
Community in that you walk through the pain with them. You need not offer answers or attempt to make false promises. When in the valley of the shadow, one needs to walk through it. Disguising the vally does not make it go disappear.
They need to know we are there, we love them, and we will walk with them through this ordeal.
(Thanks to Henri Nouwen for many insights from, The Wounded Healer)
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